


Earth's Dumbest Heroes (aka someone hold an intervention and make me stop)

by grantwardshipsterglasses



Series: Earth's Dumbest Heroes [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Heimdall also makes a small appearance, Parody, Sorry Thor, i love you man, i regret making Thor so dumb in this, literally do not take any of this seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 06:38:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13698945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grantwardshipsterglasses/pseuds/grantwardshipsterglasses
Summary: Random collection of Avengers parodies my brother and I wrote like 5 years ago. Don't kill me. Some of them will be really short and barely count as chapters but I find it works better to separate them completely.





	1. Shakespeare in the Park

"Doth thy mother know you weareth her drapes?" Tony asks dramatically. 

"How did you know?" Thor questions in return. 

Tony just stares for a minute. "I was just making fu- uh, just joking. ...Wait, you're actually wearing your mother's drapes?"

He then starts cracking up. 

"Well, they're not 'her' drapes exactly... They are in the palace, but they are not specifically my mother's." Thor tries to explain. He is just about to leave when a shield hits him in the face. 

"Are you crying?" Steve asks Tony, who is laughing so hard that only choking noises and little gasps of air are heard. 

"No, it's just-hahaha- he's wearing his mother's drapes!!!" Are those... Tears in his eyes? Thor wonders. 

Steve looks from Tony to Thor, then to Thor's 'cape'. And then proceeds to start laughing as well. 

"Mortals..." Thor sighs, beginning to consider asking Loki if he would like some assistance in subjugating Earth. Thinking of Loki... Thor decides to not go with his plan of co-world domination, and instead just go get his brother. Unfortunately, Tony and Steve decide to accompany him. 

"Whatever did you do to them, 'brother'?" Loki asks as they approach, eyeing Tony and Steve with disdain.   

 "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." 

Loki narrows his eyes as Tony chokes out something that sounds suspiciously like 'drapes.'

"Thor, you didn't actually go through with that idiotic plan of yours to use the drapes instead of getting an actual cape, did you?"

Thor looks at the ground sheepishly.

"Oh, you DID! See, this is exactly why you shouldn't be king. Imagine that, the king of Asgard wearing drapes."

When they at last got to the Helicarrier, Thor had long since gotten rid of his cape. (What WOULD you call it? A crape?)

Where he put it, even I know not where. Maybe he hid it where the Tesseract was hidden. Which would be really stupid, to hide a cape there and not bring back the Tesseract. But then again, Thor isn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. I mean, we're talking about the guy who left Loki for dead on Svartalfheim without even checking for a pulse or anything. Especially since Loki is known for his tricks.... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Thor. I wrote this back in 2013 when I didn't really care about him and I regret it because he's now my favorite Avenger.


	2. In which it is revealed that Tony and Thor need to go back to preschool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, who taught them what animals look like? It's not that difficult.

"Make a move, Reindeer Games." Said Tony, aiming his repulsor at Loki.   
"What is it with you people?! Who taught you your animals?" Asked a teenage girl from the crowd. "Yeah!" Added the boy next to her. "They're obviously goat horns! Not reindeer antlers, or even cow horns!" The girl nodded. "I can see why he would choose goat horns. Goats are scary!"   
"Who are you people, anyway?" Steve asked.   
"Uh- no one. Nobody at all." In a flash, both teens disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact:  
> When I wrote this I was in the stage of life where I liked to insert myself into my stories. (I mean... I have absolutely no idea where those kids came from...)


End file.
